my friend leah is sitting here right now.
and in the shower today i had this stuck in my head.
Saturday, April 30, 2011
Friday, April 29, 2011
sometimes, on a day off, i might sleep in late and then sit on my computer for a while drinking coffee and sometimes shut my eyes because i am groggy. then i will light a pretty smelling candle and open the windows and play dress up with the clothes on the floor before i put them away and then eat some cereal and then get back in bed and read edna st. vincent millay. sometimes, not always. but definitely today.
the moon came to me last night
with a sweet question.
"the sun has been my faithful lover
for millions of years.
whenever i offer my body to him
brilliant light pours from his heart.
thousands then notice my happiness
and delight in pointing
toward my beauty.
is it true that our destiny
is to turn into light
and i replied,
now that your love is maturing,
we need to sit together
close like this more often
so i might instruct you
how to become
-hafiz of persia
Thursday, April 28, 2011
living for almost a month now with burners has really started to change my perspective, on lots of things. community, success, recreation, drugs, burning man and seeing what a group can accomplish when you put your efforts together. i'm very encouraged to be surrounded by people who are both responsible adults and free spirited twenty-somethings at the same time.
we are still trying to figure out this whole thing together.
and i might be convinced to attend burning man next year.
Tuesday, April 26, 2011
it's almost summer which means summer reading lists and for me that means: adventure books. treasure island, the adventures of tom sawyer and huckleberry finn, gullivers travels, around the world in 80 days. adventure novels are my favorite, they always have been since i was a kid and would read mark twain in my barefeet and wish i was tom sawyer (NOT becky). they also remind me of the adventure book in the movie the pagemaster. have any of you seen this film? its an animated movie from the 90s starring macauley culkin who gets trapped inside an animated book world when he visits a mysterious library. it wasn't very popular and a little bizarre but it was one of the movies my grandma bought us so we watched it. she also bought us a non-disney version of aladdin because she got confused. hmm.
for my summer:
-captains courageous, rudyard kipling
-robinson crusoe, daniel defoe
-moby dick, herman melville
-heart of darkness, joseph conrad
-o pioneers!, willa cather
-the swiss family robinson, johann david wyss
what's on your summer reading list?
"as for its being silly, i don't mind that. sometimes it's great fun to be silly, like children playing statues and dying of laughter. and sometimes being silly breaks the even pace and lets you get a new start. when i am troubled, i play a game of silly so that my dear will not catch trouble from me. she hasn't found me out yet, or if she has, i'll never know it. so many things i don't know about my mary, and among them, how much she knows about me."
-john steinbeck, the winter of our discontent
Monday, April 25, 2011
thanks to this guy, i've been listening to mind the gap nonstop this week. it affects me differently every time. sometimes its the cheery music i need after a hard day at work, others its blasting badass while lazily driving through sunny LA. today it was romantic and cloudy and inviting. nonetheless, it has left me super obsessed with the tune yards and this song:
Sunday, April 24, 2011
light and air
lines and white
roll with the blue
signs of soft summer
and summer skin
sleeping in and taking
your socks off in your
sleep, reading old
texts from the middle
of the night, clasping
praying, wishing, saying,
flicking copper pennies
into puddles of water
cat got yer tongue?
Saturday, April 23, 2011
Friday, April 22, 2011
the BLVD. the street where i live. a warm and happy and green and lovely place.
the home of backyard fire pits made from the inside of an old dryer.
the new basketball hoop and hot tub next door.
movie sesh's and family dinners and ladies nights and watching the sunset from the roof.
i am thoroughly obsessed with nailpolish.
other obsessions include: twitter, lemonade, caps lock, tofurkey and vhs tapes.
this morning i woke up and thought to myself, a disney cartoon would be perfect right now.
i was flooded with some long forgotten happy nostalgia as i sat through the sound effects and graphics of the walt disney home video of my childhood.
as the credits rolled after aladdin, i was reminded of the 90s soft jams they used to record as a radio edit of the movie's main theme song.
here is celine dion singing beauty and the beast.
Thursday, April 21, 2011
i have a pretty kickass turntable/stereo that my dad pieced together from garage sales. all it does is play records. i have no ipod connector, tape deck, cd player or radio. but when you have these to choose from, its not so bad.
i've been giving myself a lesson in music listening.
as in, listen to music and only listen to music.
not just while i'm on the computer or doing chores or in the car.
but grabbing tin's big floor cushion pillow and lying down and listening to my dinah washington '62 album and just listening.
there has been an overwhelming sense come over me to forcibly change the thesis of this blog. bear with me as whoa, jamie goes through some changes and evolution. i'm not sure what it will turn into yet, but the poetry will be (has been) fading out.
these things i can promise you:
-i will not post pictures of me in "cute" outfits.
but if i post a picture and i look awesome, i can't help that.
-it will always be completely and utterly random.
-BLVD (where i live) happenings will start to show up.
i don't think you all understand just how happy this makes me.
"i want the love in my life to feel like a deep breath, a blushing laugh, a view across the sea of cortez always expanding wider glowing. i want the experience of love to lift me up and dance during dinner even when my little sister says she'll pay me $5.00 not to. i'm learning to reinvent what being with a boy can be like. maybe its a fort instead of a movie, with lots of shel silverstein reading out loud or a spring night with tea and art on the floor."
- sabrina ward harrison, spilling open
Tuesday, April 19, 2011
Friday, April 15, 2011
i've been too lazy and too
scared to write. i think i
am just really afraid of
what i might say if it was
just some alone time with
me and a pen. vulnerability
when i've been trying to
be so strong. admitting my
true love and the space with
out you here. headaches from
money and red wine alone
on the couch. i believe in
honesty as longs as its kept
quiet. i want no more of that.
Sunday, April 10, 2011
my wife, my mary, goes to her sleep the way you would close the door of a closet. so many times i have watched her with envy. her lovely body squirms a moment as though she fitted herself into a cocoon. she sighs once and at the end of it her eyes close and her lips, untroubled, fall into that wise and remote smile of the ancient greek gods. she smiles all night in her sleep, her breath purrs in her throat, not a snore, a kitten's purr. for a moment her temperature leaps up so that i can feel the glow of it beside me in the bed, then drops and she has gone away. i don't know where. she says she does not dream. she must, of course. that simply means that her dreams do not trouble her, or trouble her so much that she forgets them before awakening. she loves to sleep and sleep welcomes her. i wish it were so with me. i fight off sleep, at the same time craving it.
-john steinbeck, the winter of our discontent
Thursday, April 7, 2011
Wednesday, April 6, 2011
if i can ever take a whole roll of film without fucking it up, i have a beautiful new subject: koreatown. rookie mistakes like loading the film wrong or it getting caught on a mechanism forcing me to expose the whole roll has led me to many lost pictures. but hopefully you will soon be seeing my neighborhood from my dad's old canon ae-1. and maybe someday from my super 8mm. but that will be a much slower process. also, a new flash for my holga might make those photos come out better as well. mine are just not cool enough for the blogosphere. i'll have to get these things working because soon we will have couchsurfers and i must must must photograph each and every one of them.
Tuesday, April 5, 2011
i have a new room with new walls and they are blue and sky and cloud colored. my bedroom door swings outward instead of inward and always stays open when i want it closed and always closes when i want it open. my french doors lead to a tiny sloped balcony above a concrete backyard where the neighbors sit on their bikes and hang out after school and i have two potted flowers, candace and amy. there are so many trees that out my window is all green. there are scratches on the floor from the cat cousteau who used to live here and i can hear the synchronicity people laugh and talk next door when i go to sleep. gina makes me feel treasured and tin makes me laugh real hard. they both make me feel good and happy and smart and confident about a new life that is serious, but never too serious and i feel all glowy and as if i were a bead of dew on a small blade of grass in the morningtime.