i don't

i feel like weeping, the urge
to write is not there.

and my head hurts tonight.
even though it was a good night.

i have pen but no paper.
i have words but no thoughts.
i have ideas but no motivation.
i have people but no passion.

by july seventh, i promise,
i will be overflowing.

but now, people either
overwhelm me or
give me nothing.

i can't read. i can't think.
all i can do is clock in and
do my work for paying bills
is the only thing i have.

and i am just sad that i won't
be here for lykke li.
but i will for bon iver.
and i am seeing grizzly bear
and wilco this week.

i have piles of clothes. and other
blogs. and text plans and driving
places and talking on the porch
and june gloom and learning
about my roommates.

and like mackenzie and i said,
i just don't want to be in a rut
anymore. ok?