..prolly not.

just be patient.

they say

4 AUG 08.

ugly-unhealthy-unemployed-

somebody help me.

everyday i wait for a large anonymous

check to come for me. everyday i hope

to get one scrap of mail. today in the

mailbox - a battery charger for my

camera. and maybe soon, something

from erin. but most days, nothing. and

especially not money.

just be patient.

they say

i am supposed to read some of these private

things, oh noe.

shhhh pretty baby

she says.

missing people

people far away and people

close by.

it was the other night, we had pillow

talk, she and i, and she said "that needlepoint

is a picture of weeds" "go figure" i said "it

looks like our front yard" and photos next

to it. allie hugging john lennon. tobs and i

at the library.

everyone at the kitchen table. there's perfume

on my windowsill. and a book about hippies. an

old checkbook. a dish quel dit "j'aime Paris"

sometimes, girls are tooooo much.

just give me a pack of cigarettes

and boys who want to talk about

authors. thing is...

i need a hug.

i missed hugs in europe. if it were up to me, we'd

never stop holding one another. holding hands,

linking elbows, resting heads on shoulders, we'd

just keep going. monica says to live in the world

you wish existed. if i never stopped holding you,

would you think me

crazy?