necessity

lately i've been doing things like listening to music that makes me wanna groove. good music, happy music, even if it means listening to the same song on repeat in the car on the way to work just so i can sing it over and over again and imagine i'm a folk singer. things like first aid kit and led zeppelin and wilco and lauryn hill and katy perry and joni mitchell and eminem and fuck "guilty pleasures." i do not feel guilty about my pleasures. i do things like walk to the goodwill by my house and always leave with something good and right now its this big black grandpa sweater and i don't ever wanna take it off. and everyday i am chipping away at this brick wall of writer's block and yesterday i took pen to paper and instead of writing words i started drawing something pretty. lately i do things that make me happy without worrying about impressing people or being intellectual or feeling bad that i spend so much time watching friends or that i ate two veggie burgers in a row. i do things like paint my nails almost on the daily and wear perfume to the grocery store because it just makes me feel so lovely. lately i've been treating myself well like sleeping when i'm sleepy, staying up late when i'm laughing, kissing when i feel like kissing, telling stories when i feel like talking; to whoever will listen. i make silly faces when my face feels like it needs to start moving and making sounds when my body needs to exhale. i scream when i feel like i need to scream. i like doing things that i like. its like yawning or sneezing. they feel good and are totally necessary. and i feel good. and i am totally necessary.