bubbly and swaying

first it was a deep, dozing nap after a long day. then it was wandering a deserted synchronicity, trying to open my eyes and since someone forgot to cook we ordered thai food instead and then it was me and gina, dancing to fleetwood mac, gulping on pinot, eating, slamming our feet, laughing then silence. then rest. then records spinning and each of us in our own worlds, me typing as fast as i can, i'm feeling glad and bubbly and swaying to the music and jazz and joni and smiling and writing. then gina's off to bed and i'm here alone, writing and browsing, sipping and sinning and wondering and growling and feeling sad and unwanted. feeling frustrated at some of the bits of my new life like my close friends are still far enough away and missing my parents and wishing i could see amy and the kids and wanting people to see the good me but i don't always show it, you have to come 'round after hours and i'll be here waiting.