and the girls in bull rushes

ellymarie

this is elly.

i like her.

i think she is made of both light & dark.

heart(felt)

this poem: "water"

untitled #4

my ceiling fan circles lazily

and makes a humming sound.

that heartbreak feeling in the

pit of my stomach.

i drop my cell phone to the

ground and curse it.

i pull my arms inside my

shirt and elastic over my

forehead where its safe.

silence malingers and

time simply passes.

finding reasons to be

happy like tea and jazz

singers. the voice of a friend,

a piece of good news.

but then i come back here.

where pain resides and

tomorrow doesn't.

where crocheted blankets

are my constant and i

whisper things to myself,

to nobody that's there.

where i achieve a state

of blankness because

entertaining thoughts

drive me. eventually, i

fall asleep.

bay windows

romping down toward the park

in my boots with my friend

pulling on caps and wiping

wet bangs from our foreheads

spitting words onto the street

and giggling for three years

dodging late night sprinklers

and homeless dogs and

penny whistlers.

hopin' and prayin' her favorite

place is open where the woman

sits at her piano and i say it

feels like we're in paris, in

musee carnavalet only this time

gay boys with sparkle rings

grab the mic and sing to their

hearts content and our hearts

sing with them. and them, some

funny foreigners ask me how i

like it up north and sugar rimmed

glasses in dainty hands out of

long baggy sweaters and ripped

dresses, dirty tresses, chapped

lips, turning off the telephone

to just listen. we ask questions like

why do hearts break and why does

it hurt and when can i see you next,

why did we cut our hair and hair

tied up in knots we complain and

say we're growing it out, growing

like an alphonse mucha belle

epoque girl, hair down to our knees

like eliot's mermaids not his own.

thinking about series and lampshades

and nook tables and paris and

john coltrane licking our ears,

get up to say goodbye come again.

bay windows and pillows and yes

i'll come again.

it's good to keep lists

*sad oldies

*kristina

*bloom

*early saturday

*jeune

*fan club

*san francisco

*limitations

*grief

on the coming of october

october is my favorite month, so i am glad that it is here. however, this year october finds me in a unique state and that is one of transition; one of learning. desires on hold, i'm living through this time to do things like save money, study french, reflect on the last two years, learn how to be content (no matter what), have patience, apply for grad schools and see what happens next for me. i'd really rather be on the other side of a learning phase, but...

here's to learning...

on doing much when given little, via mackenzie

on pain, as a person, via tobin

& i'm flattered to have been featured on this blog, via brittan

read, enjoy, learn, listen, share, happy weekend