Thursday, September 30, 2010


part of you pours out of me in these lines from time to time

Wednesday, September 29, 2010

rivers know the secret

i like geography best, he said, because your mountains and rivers know the secret.

pay no attention to boundaries.

Tuesday, September 28, 2010


i'm craving cigarettes again,
but don't worry about me,
i'm tough, in fact,
i'm the strongest woman
you know.
not everything can be
peaceful and healing,
though i'd like them to be,
as someone hands me a
jagged novel in my fragile
state. stories of foster kids
and molestation;
things i can't handle.
prisons and shootings,
reminding me how good
i have it. reminding me of
people who live without
hope. i am no longer in
a steinbeck novel. i'd rather
have kerouacian prettiness,
some sort of gnarled beauty
feeling happy in the twisted
decay, art found in
unexpected places, chocolate
words always dripping.
but here the words are harsh
and beauty is deadly and i
stare at a bleak bleak
existence. and i'm reminded
of my own curse; one of genetics,
passed down through the
mother. a spiral of negativity
and depression, one that
casts lovers to the wayside
because no human has that
much patience. i lack the
ability to be happy and remain
there. a life filled with
"if only's"
if only i was in paris,
if only we lived in spain or
bali, if only our debt was
cancelled or we won the lottery.
and now i find myself,
under the low ceiling and
in an empty house, sitting
up with research of family
curses, determined
to dance in a field or burn
sage or pray for forty
days in order to break it.
willing to do anything for
the ability to find happy
and remain there.

Friday, September 24, 2010

the marrow in your bones

"always learn poems by heart," she said. "they have to become the marrow in your bones. like fluoride in water, they'll make your soul impervious to the world's soft decay." - white oleander

and so, i shall begin this feat. and what better poem to start with than my favorite, t.s. eliot's the love song of j. alfred prufrock? cheers to me, and wish me luck.

whats in my head (these days): everyone has a story. and everyone's story is different. take everything with a grain of salt.

Wednesday, September 22, 2010

poetry and hums

“poetry and hums aren't things which you get,
they're things which get you. and all you can do
is go where they can find you.” -winnie the pooh

Tuesday, September 21, 2010

dogcat love

what is that luminous rain i see all around you in the future? ..hafiz

hafiz in the mornings

i've been reading hafiz in the mornings
and letting my hair get very tangled
and when i get to my fiftieth poem i
wonder, how many poems in a day?
there are no limits.
because a poem is in our breath
and in our food
its in our walk
and our wrinkles
its in our toes
and underneath our fingernails
its in the occilating fan
and in the shadow of leaves on
the window screen
its in the linear silence of a room
and in the screams of children
its in the flutter of book pages
being passed through anxious hands
and the push on closed eyelids
when sadness comes rushing in
its in the refreshed afternoon sun
after taking all morning to get up.
a poem stays with you;
when you need it
it's there.
and all these poems are just poems
unfinished of something someone
somewhere wanted to say,
they are the whisper of a
heartbeat and with my
heart i keep them
to keep beating
and breathing and

to keep moving forward.

Thursday, September 16, 2010

your seed pouch

hang from the night sky
so that your eye might draw
one more image of love upon your silk canvas
before sleep.

words from him have reached you
and tilled a golden field inside.

when all your desires are distilled
you will cast just two votes:

to love more,
and be happy.

take the sounds from the mouth-flute of hafiz
and mix them into your seed pouch.

and when the moon says,
"it is time to plant,"

why not dance,
dance and

-hafiz of persia

Tuesday, September 14, 2010

the poetry series no. 1

created by taylor hamlett, shawn morones and yours truly.
spread the love.

Sunday, September 12, 2010


if only my thoughts might lift
out of my head and, like you
said, reach out and touch yours
and then we'd have a moment.
and maybe it's true.
but for now i think about
mackenzie's book out of solitude
and this book my dad gave
me about marriage and how
i'm going to see mariah on
and each good moment is a gift
and each bad one is a lesson.
and each day is made of moments
to either relish in or simply get
and i have a word i wrote above
my bed that just says learn.
and it reminds me that age
does not matter, success does
not matter and neither do the
lines on my face or what type
of job i have or what kind of
money i do not.
all of these moment that are
good or bad are learning
moments and i get better
from each of them. i get better
by making decisions and living
with them. i get better by
reading and breathing and
cooking and walking and
listening. i get better especially
by listening. i get better by
being sad and knowing what
it is to be a human. i get better
by hearing my parents because
they have lived longer than me.
i'll be better not just when i
am happy but when i
know i have learned.
and when i can see that
my wings have grown and our
thoughts can touch each other
in a moment.


i swear she's been calling me to the canyon
tomorrow will be a happy sort of day

hamlet curse

i must ask
please be nice
i'm fragile
plagued by a
hamlet curse
for the last
long while
a curse of
inaction and
indecision and
choices and changes
so sudden
and rash
and things whirling
around my self
and suddenly
and far away
and pain
i wish flying
away could be
some sort of
cure but all
things haunt you
wherever you go
and i have this
tiny hope
i have some little
thing in the back
of my mind
and it helps
me to get up
each day
i miss
so many things
i must ask
please be nice
and please
don't love
someone new

Friday, September 10, 2010

the definitions of...

1. moral power, firmness, courage
2. something or someone that gives one strength is a source of power or encouragement

1. within a short period of this or that time, event, etc
2. before long; in the near future; at an early date
3. promptly or quickly

Thursday, September 9, 2010

in my room

(i believe in the sun when it is not shining, love when i am alone and god when he is silent)

Tuesday, September 7, 2010

coming soon

keep your eyes open for a collaborative project soon to make an appearance. i had the pleasure of working with my lovely boyfriend, shawn and my dear friend taylor to make a little film art featuring some of my words. a dream team of artists in my humble opinion. also, be on the lookout for a new blog i'll be heading up in addition to this one, which will also be a collaborative effort, with a host of talented and intelligent authors addressing the theme of gender issues. you won't want to miss it. in fact, if anyone wants to throw some blog title ideas my direction, i would appreciate it.

tonight is my last night in this town as a (semi) resident. i've been vagabonding for a while and soon to be headed north. it will be an adventure. all of life really is, isn't it?

so much love. au revoir.