Thursday, March 4, 2010


i refuse to believe that because i didn't get a business, a graphic design or an accounting degree that i am a failure. i refuse to believe that wanting to be an actor or a writer or a teacher or an illustrator is irresponsible. i refuse to be working in customer service for the rest of my life. i refuse to only be judged by my looks because i am a woman. i refuse to believe that education is powerless, that career is everything, that monthly payments and credit are the sole items for my character to be criticized against. i refuse to believe that there isn't power in words, that america is the only good country. i refuse to believe that travel is frivolous and unnecessary and impossible. i refuse to take on the psychological problems of my family, i will break free of them. i refuse to believe that gay is a sin. i refuse to give into the confines of our patriarchal society and our dysfunctional nuclear families. i refuse to believe that more is more, unless it means how many people live in your house. i refuse to believe that i have not accomplished much, that i am small or that i don't know what it is to be an adult. i refuse to believe that growing up is the only way forward. i refuse to have my checking account statement be the only subject upon which my mother and i converse. i refuse to let my father's name be forgotten. i refuse to let my brother feel unwanted or incapable or the un-favorite. i refuse to believe that community homes can't happen, that hospitality can't be practiced without fear of theft, that small steps don't mean big things in the life of a poor kid. i refuse to believe that the things you want can't be earned, that life is always hard. i refuse to not be in solidarity with my sisters. i categorically refuse.

because i am strong and brave and gentle and i will not have a mere stick where my backbone should be, i will not be easily influenced by the foolish mouths of others. i will not let the people closest to me be the ones who claw and feast upon my crumbling ambitions. obstacles make you more of a success, trials straighten your backbone and love, love i swear, will conquer all.