Thursday, March 5, 2009

i'm really sorry about this one.

good morning. can i admit something to you? girls, back me up on this. i'm having that extremely irrational, totally overwhelming, completely rootless enormous emotion overcome me and that attacks most women every twenty-eight days or so. it's 5:51 am and i'm watching the sky lighten out my window, i can't sleep. it's the anger and sadness that kicks my ass while i just lie here, and literally i kick my feet in a silent hissy fit of frustration. i hate being a woman some days.

it makes you do crazy things. not crazy good things. like crazy "giving women a bad wrap" kind of things. ideas will come in my head like it would be a good idea to text my boyfriend at six in the morning. no. wrong. always a bad idea. it even crossed my mind to call him. why? i don't know. just seemed like a good idea. but i reiterate, no. bad idea.

sure, i like being a girl. i can say it, i like wearing dresses. bows, curls, perfume. i like when shawn tells me i'm pretty. i like mascara, i like wine, i like the colour red. i like a lot of other things associated with being female.

but today, no. i hate being a woman. i despise it. i hate the stomach ache, the rootless emotion, the seclusion. and today i feel rejected and undesired. wonderful. love it.

1 comment:

Carrie said...

Love this post. HATE being a girl on day 28/day one. You know that I relate to you, afterall, we did live together and you were the one who walked with me to Staters for "supplies" freshman year and had to stop every few feet because I was in so much pain and SO grumpy. That is when I knew you were a true and loving friend.